20-20-20

Today I took 20-20-20 class at the gym for the first time in over a year.

20 minutes aerobics.. high intensity, no stopping
20 minutes weights...light aerobic moves focusing on hand weights/arms
20 minutes abs..which turns into abs AND push ups

I love this class. This class kicked my ass hard today! Luis the instructor makes it all worth while. I used take his step aerobics and it was the best. He makes the class. He looks 30, but its I believe more like 60!!!!! We made him show us his id one day! He's full of energy, knows when he needs to check on you and is just awesome. Oh and might I add I don't belong to this gym but my friend has been getting me in since she works there. I used to belong but can't justify the money. Though since I'm out of work I might do a monthly membership, her idea today and a great idea!

I sweated my ass off. I remember picking up a new towel at Target specifically for the gym and it has seemed to disappear already. Or maybe just lost in the mound of laundry I need to do?
Running Diva Mom is doing a give-a-way on her blog for fun sport towels called Words to Sweat By http://www.wordstosweatby.com/ They are reasonably price and have fun sayings. Go check out her blog and the website!!

Girls on the Run (GOTR)

Thank you to Running Diva Mom, one of my first blog readers for mentioning this great organization, Girls on the Run. Learn more here http://www.girlsontherun.org/ You can check to see if there are any local chapters in your area (Glens Falls, NY for me) and how you can get involved.

I've always wanted to be a runner, I admire all you who do run. I guess you could say I'm a runner at heart... buried behind all the fat. When I was at my lowest weight, about 2 years ago ,I started running slowly. I am a walker, a crazy walker at that. I participated 3 years ago in a 60 mile, 3 Day walk to help fight breast cancer in Boston http://www.the3day.org/. I trained so hard for this walk and it was the most rewarding thing I've done so far, for myself and others. I plan on doing it again soon.

Diva Mom has posted on her blog, http://runningdivamom.blogspot.com/ a virtual race. It is only 1 mile.. ONE MILE. I couldn't tell you the last I ran a mile without stopping but I'm up for the challenge (a challenge for me anyways). All she asked was at least $1 donation towards her marathon which she is doing to support GOTR. So I took the plunge, made a donation (you are welcome) to commit to the race and am going to work on putting a little more running into my walks each day. Stay tuned for my blog mid-May about the race!

Weigh In and doctor day

Yesterday was a nerve wrecking da for me..... First weigh in (yes AGAIN) then directly after my first appointment with a psychiartrist. I was nervous, excited, anxious and everything inbetween.

First was weigh in. I got to meeting place and was getting more anxious so I started my shakes. Funny, just what I was going to doctor for next. So when I stepped on the scale he receptionists says "stand still!!" I said (not too rudely) I C-A-N-T. I told her I could step off and try it again and she said no I can do it manually. Ok manualy from me sanding on ground? Taking an average the of numbers you were seeing? Finally she writes a number down.....

-7.0 lbs! yes! I quesitoned that number (was it more? was it less) but from my scale I had checked it seemd to be just about right. I guess we'll see what next week!


From Weight Watchers I had to run out to my first meeting with the Psychiatrist. I arrived early as they requested. 10:10am I got out of my car at at 10:50am I was STILL filling out work. Of course that made half of my hand writing a mess. The doctor, err well nurse practitioner I met with was nice. We talked about what I thought was causing this stress and anxiety right now, etc etc. Finally she decided she wanted me back on the Xanax a few times a day and now Zoloft at night. We talked about weight gain, I told her that was another underlying demon of me not happy with me. Some of the meds could make me gain, or want to eat. She was happy to hear I was going to WW and learning how to eat and controlling it which should help. Welbutrin, another depression medication was a possibility. It would help me LOSE the weight, but she didn't want to try that just yet because a side effect was seizures....
Now I just need to contact a therapist and find one I like and start sessions. Otherwise, she agrees, I should be out and away from work as long as I can while I'm in treatment. I have orders to take care of me. I think I can handle that right now :-)

Zumba!!!

I love Zumba!!

I took my second class last night, the first at this dance studio. Actually, a friend from high school who I have not seen in years is turning into a Zumba master! She is teaching more and more classes which is great. Then I met another one of our classmates there to take the class. How did we get in touch with each other, Facebook of course!

Zumba is the perfect work out for me right now. I've obviously gained alot of weight and have a hard time doing what I used to be able to do. That's been something hard for me to deal with.... but I'm getting better at it. Zumba let's you feel ok modifying moves because you are still shaking it, it gets your heart beat going (and going and going) and lets you feel fun and flirty. So not only are you getting a work out... you are shaking things you haven't shaked in a long time and learning some new dance moves! We were all some "hot little mamacitas" last night!

Since I've joined Weight Watchers again and have been moving more and more I FINALLY got my HRM (heart rate monitor) battery replaced. It's been months since I've used it. As you can see from the picture below, I was not happy to move my weight to 348lbs. I liked the number that was still stored in there from where I left off.. 261lbs *sigh* I will be there again!

1 hour of Zumba= 528 calories burned! Sawweeeett! I was happy with that. I did break a sweat and did modify what I couldn't do here and there. I now have a new fun way to work out which is going to be key for me. This is something I love and will continue to take at least 1 class a week!

I am lucky that another friend of mine has a Zumba class at her gym. that was the first class I took last week. I LOVE her gym. I was a member for a while. It's so convenient for me, 2 ft from my work, new, beautiful and sooo many options. Downfall, the $47 a month membership. Ouch. My friend is smart, she works there 2 days a week and gets her membership free. This is something I'm going to look into once I can work agian. Anywhoo she snuck me in to her class next week and will again tomorrow morning. I really enjoyed her class, the leader had some different moves than the class I took last night which was nice. Also, gotta enjoy the range of ages (20-80, yes 80 year olds) taking this class and shaking what they got to "Apple bottom jeans, boot with the fur, with fur...."

The dreaded before pictures

Here are the dreaded before pics! ick! The quality isn't the best; we took these tonight with my iPhone. I do have a new camera on order, finally! I should hopefully get it at the end of this week/beginning of next. It's funny how you don't miss having a camera and being in pictures or even taking pictures when you are fat. I have not had a camera since I sold my old in our garage sale last summer! oh and please don't mind the best/background. We'll work in that next time...

Front picture @ 348lbs

Side picture @ 348lbs

And the verdict is............

I. Am. Fat!

Ok well that was no surprise. I knew that already and have been ok with it and ready to tackle it. Today was day one and hopefully for the last and finally effing time. I went to my Weight Watcher meeting as planned. It felt good. I really like my leader Carolyn. I think I can relate to her alot. She mentioned that when she lost all her weight (not sure of lbs but she mentioned today she started out in a size 26 and is a 8/10 now, you do the math) it was the 8th time she had tried WW'ers. yes! that is me too- give or take a few times, I've lost track over the years.

I got on the scale and braced myself for the number .I already knew it was super high. My scale at home won't weigh me. Yeah it sucks. And on that note, what sucks more is husband agreed to let me buy the Wii Fit so while I'm home during these couple of weeks away from work so I could start building my strength back up.... I'm too fat for the Wii Fit. True Story.

Max weight= 330lbs. Sad, so sad.

And the verdict for today........ 348lbs. Wow. That is just crazy. I know some of that is my fault but alot of it is my thyroid problem(s) and whatever else has been wrong with me in the past year. That is when most of the weight piled on, at least 60lbs or so.Though I was doing a good job of gaining before that too. So my first goal is going to be under 330lbs so I can use my damn Wii Fit! Then from there to be back under 3oolbs and eventually back to where I left off around 235lbs. Also, I look forward to weighing less than my hubby again. That felt awesome! That should be around the 250's (I think?)

Pics to follow.....

A Repeat Offender

Confession. I am a Repeat Offender.

Tomorrow, I am going back to join Weight Watchers for the ohhh 8th? 9th? time, at least. After much thought and disgust with myself I know I need to do something, and now. I thought of other programs, other things I could do to lose the weight, but I know Weight Watchers works and I know how to work the program. Heck, I lost about 75lbs a few years ago, so why cant I do it again, plus more!

I've spent the last few days eating crap. I can feel it. I feel beyond disgusting. I hate this feeling. I can honestly say I have not had the belly hunger grumbles in a LONG time. If I had any such feeling, food went into my mouth... fast. Then the I feel so gross and nasty, etc etc feeling was back. I'm trying to learn to deal with my eating and cravings and learn all over again how to eat. I started to read a book, on overeating. Many different people I know have recommended and it's been sitting on my night stand for... well lets just say some time now. It's called, The Art of Overeating by David Kessler. http://tinyurl.com/ybxqxzv So far so good. I'm hoping to learn a few good lessons to help me through this journey... again.

Then tonight, after making dinner on our new grill! yum! I attacked the kitchen. I need organization on my life in order to take care of me. Funny it may sound but if my life is a mess and crazy, so am I and so is my eating. The kitchen. Oy. Man it needed a good cleaning anyways... and still does. I cleared out the fridge . Scary yet satisfying. My husband ending up with 4 large bags of garbage from me cleaning not only the fridge, but the freezer and some random cabinet items. So to get me started tomorrow, its off to a good start. I still need to clean more, deeper, organize more and buy some new gadgets. Gadgets are also fun when you are losing weight- so far I picked up a Hawaiian girl cheese grater at Marshalls. it. is. awesome. (Pic to follow soon as I need to invest in new camera too booo). So while i'm out tomorrow I think a trip to Bed Bath and Beyond is in order.

Gadget heaven, here I come!

Weight Watchers, here I come!

The new (old me), here I come... .to find you again!

(Yeah that was a little cheesey, but I was feeling the motivation :-P)